twocancook

Wednesday, March 04, 2009

on the wagon notes

your skin did look good the other night.
so there are benefits to drying out!

terms i can live with:
drying out
on the wagon

words i despise:
sober
sobriety

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

foreplay (baseball?)

(from 2006 - some notes, some poetry)


foreplay.

baseball.
we cried in that japanese basement. work was finished,
we had no home
no home to go home to.

i dreamed of BASEBALL.
hold up that mighty bat.....
boys dream of this moment.
i swing , i miss....swing, miss....swing ,miss...

for some reason, this game makes boys into healthy men.

one time i dated an old school, east village woman, carla.
in the 80's,
she told me,
she had had
the best ass
on 2nd avenue.

we met late one night at that coke bar, 119,
near union square.
the bar staff where i worked
used to go there after closing.
for a while, 119 became a habit.
women waiting up late, for something... i would wait ,too.
looking back, i know there was no point in waiting up past midnight at a bar.
most of those folks needed some kind of drugs. i just wanted to meet a girl.

with carla,
uplate that night.
just staying up late....waiting....
a few days later, we agreed to meet on a sunday afternoon,
at her old haunt walkers in tribeca.
it was the world series. one of her few healthy pursuits was baseball.
we watched the whole game.
this was 15 years ago, so i don't think the yankees were in it...
after beers,we went to her place

it's true. the great game of baseball is also great foreplay!
i should have said 'this was great'. we'll have to make a date for the same time next year. we'll watch one of these baseball games together, have a few beers, go back to your place.

it was never the same after that. another date or two. just wasn't the same without baseball. i think that's why she would go out late,hope for drugs....

Saturday, January 24, 2009

GO GROOVY

GO GROOVY.
thoughts turned to obama
and pepsi's multinational campaign
to
GO GROOVY.
but they couldn't quite find the groove,
mistepping
every
step
with phrases like
HO HOWDY.
they should have hired me
with my playful lyricism.
so i'll turn this into
A POEM FOR JULIE.
(like a song, and clap for accent after each word)
JULIE......
GO GROOVY........
it's not a gravy.........but it could be/
please don't tell me......... that it's pepsi/
what it could be.........is your birthday....

(now back to the poetry, the music turns off)

hey julie
go groovy
it's not a gravy
but it could be
please don't tell me
that it's pepsi
what it could be
is your birthday

__________

GO GROOVY trademarked 2009 by jimmy carbone, sorry pepsi

Friday, December 12, 2008

too much beer? a holiday poem

stop by and visit
with open hands.

show me your empty pockets.

do not be afraid to say
"more beer please, sir"

we will not disappoint any of
you weary,
hardworking souls.


happy holidays.

Monday, February 04, 2008

super bowl poem

super bowl poem
______________


Sweet honeys/

boys
like to play

with footballs/

from birth
we can't help it/

a good woman

will know this,

pitch in,

make some GUACOMOLE.

lyrical rapping

makes this dope.

dope it is,

please
please
please......

Friday, December 21, 2007

give me a new shirt, i'll get it dirty

give me a new shirt, i'll get it dirty.

for the first time in 8 years, i bought a new jacket.
mid december cold.
my old black thick winter jacket, yes that should be a brand:
my old black thick winter jacket.com

the zipper had broken.

mid december cold.
walking around, clutching this jacket....feeling the cold...

so i bought a new jacket.
patagonia, fancy, not a jacket but a "down sweater.'

my wife ,peers, workers all commented on it. it did create envy in a few of them.

uh oh, big red flag. don't buy clothes that breed envy...

i did look good. handsome in a sporty, 40 ish dad kind of way.

today, 3 days later,i got my first rip.
i tore the sleeve in the kitchen......

everytime i get a new shirt, or put on a clean one, it always gets dirty.
whether it's a splash of coffee...tomato sauce stain...pick up a box and carry mark....christmas tree pine tar smear...
it happens to me.

i dont' fight it either.

i also usually don't mind. my clothes are just clothes. until i buy something new...


i understand the metrosexual mindset. if you're always buying and wearing new, clean clothes, you're probably more than a wee bit clothes aware. so you can't always let loose, might hesitate before opening the door for a lady , you might not feel 100% about pounding a few beers and making out with a bar chick.....

yes new clothes can change a person.

no matter what, give me a new shirt, i'll get it dirty.
i've accepted that my station in life depends on me getting my shirt dirty.....

Saturday, December 01, 2007

chefs seeking happy endings

chefs have come a long way.

in the old days,women would walk into my kitchen, say provocative lines like: "i like to f&*k chefs the way some girls like to f*&k drummers...."

you would think it would be easy for a chef. they meet lots of women, they have secret rooms, like the walkin refrigerator, the store room, the liquor room.....

maybe things have changed a bit in the restaurant world. maybe there isn't room any more for young anthony bourdain's to find themselves in the kitchen.

it's definitely more competitive.

how did it come to this?

my chef friend asked me if i knew where to get a good happy ending.
we were talking about spa's. there's a spa on second avenue, called spa belles, but it's not really a spa, it's a nail salon....some of the staff had pitched in to get me a "full spa" treatment for my birthday, my wife ended up using it. i think the kitchen guys chipped in because when they heard "spa' they thought "happy endings".
where have these boys been? at spa belles, a spa treatment is a list of typical ladies favoprites - pedicure, manicure, facial, foot wash and rub, neck massage...that's about it.

i told him he should try one of the neighbouring chinese tui-na (?) massage storefronts. what has made them so popular, anyways,that they are ubiquitous - there is one on every block in manhattan. have you ever gone for a happy ending? i asked the chef?
well, no, you don't go in and ask for a happy ending. you go in for a full 1 hour massage.....then you don't need to ask, they just do it.....