malady:how food gets to you

narrator:in the 60's and 70's: new england summer; we'd make a night of it. drive a few towns over to a local fry shack. feast on fried clams, onion rings, my favorite - curly fries!

spanky: we'd make a night of it.
order at the takeout window, sit at a picnic table.

mason; it's called "eating in the comforts of nature."
delia: the other day, i rode my bike through union square park. a young boy , layers of baggy t shirts and drooping pants, was leaning against a small, white car.

green uniformed parks police were around him. 3 men, over 30....he was handcuffed.

he could have been 10...then again he could have been 12, 14, even 16.

that was his strong point, he could pass for a kid to do a young man's job

ALL TOGETHER: HE COULD HAVE BEEN 10.....12....14....16

Mason: what had he done?

delia; a small crowd had gathered around him. were they the victims, his teammembers...curious onlookers???

spanky; we love a spectacle...looking at others misfortunes, misadventures. we love a fight.
the other day a TRUCK HIT a taxi ON SECOND AVENUE. the men spilled into the street, their vehicles blocking traffic midlane....harsh loud words, a swing.....
BRAVADO
BRAGGADOCCIO
like a great italian opera.

there must be SCREAMING
WHEELS SKIDDING
LOTS OF SHOUTING

delia; but this boy just stood there. the park police gingerly tried to search his pockets, look through the layers of his urban clothing. it was difficult and awkward for them. their man size hands were too big to fit into his boy size ....

EVERYBODY TOGETHER:
his droopee loosee pants

what had he done? where did he go wrong , that he was here??
___________________________

narraor: now i'm listening to a sunday morning sermon, of all things,

mason; i'm gin-gritch good year, my friends call me woody.
if something bad happens, don't say "WHY"?
say "WHERE DO WE GO FROM HERE"/!!!!!!?????
that's the sermon for today, now mama's gonna say her line:

mama: now it's time to pass the collection basket. don't be afraid to be generous. it's 4th of july weekend, and gingritch wants to buy a new car.
________________________________

narrator:
what did you do at age 8?....12?....16???
chances are you're not that different now.

delia;
young boy arrested by park police. i don't need to know anymore. i wanted to stare there, too, gawking at the spectacle.
what did he do? where did he go wrong?

spanky: his name could be, now, let's see here.....malady.....
yes the boy's name is malady.

delia; that poor boy, malady.

he was handcuffed

he's a scrawny, funny looking white boy. the cops were black.

EVERYBODY: OUTRAGE, CURIOUSITY, SPECTACLE, ENTERTAINMENT

mason: WOW, WHAT HAPPENED??!! i saw handcuffs on the boy, the small crowd seemed to know,..... they had an urban sensibility.

SPANKY: COOL. SO you saw him too/

mason; yeah i did. that's why we came to new york, isn't it???

delia; they just couldn't get their man hands into his boy sized pockets. it was becoming kind of a problem. i mean, they had to search him before they put him in their car.

mason; what had he done?
SET THE GRASS ON FIRE???

delia; i don't know. one time in a park, a crazy man was smoking pot in front of the kids...i called 311....the parks people told me 'it wasn't their job..." i should call the nypd..the police"

spanky: what did malady do? in the old days, a kid like malady would have lived in the bronx. spend his summer days sneaking into yankee stadium. sqeeze under a fence near the hot dog vendor, stand, running, now lost in the throng of pinstriped fans.

and the cops would let a few local kids do this....anyways, it's good for baseball, a good way to build life long fans....customers...of the baseball team.

mason: no, but it's really wierd. i didn't think parks police could arrest kids. besides, what could he have done?
even walmart is no longer prosecuting shoplifters who steal idems worth less than $25. i read it in the WALL STREET JOURNAL,

delia: no. mason, it was the post.

mason: ok, whatever....
______________
mason: now it's getting really wierd. i'm channelling the voice of that preacher agian,
mr. gin gritch good year.
"you can't win when it comes to food. the new york times reporter winced at paying for locally caught fish, even at the union square farmers market.
i think people really don;t want to know where their food comes from. or how it gets to them.
it's like fiji water.
it's so pure, from ancient aquifers......in the pacific islands!!!!
how do we know it's so pure.....
we could stand here all day and discuss the merits of organic and/or locally grown vegetables,
line caught fish, hand fed piglets, breast fed..

spanky: ALL RIGHT!!

delia; how come most kids are running: eating corn syrup ,corn fed....

mason: yeah like malady. so the corn syrup makes him crazy. it makes me crazy, that's why i drink all these boutique beers.made of water, grain, and booze.


i drink a beer.

now i'm starting to remember, to remember what i did when i was malady's age??

spanky; how old is he, anyways?

mason; it doesn't matter

anyways , when i was younger

if i were in a store, for boys clothing,
or boys model soldiers,
i would stare at something, not talk to anyone, with the hope and belief that someone would walk up to me and give me what i wanted , for free.

no one ever did.

now i've learned to ask.

they just say no.

this mute, staring boy.

stare , and pray long enough, and you will get what you want.

spanky: i was brought up that way, too. malady probably was,... too.....
a nice catholic boy.

mason: just stare
and pray
and you'll get what you want.

it still holds me back to this day.
______________________

narrator:
while we narrate the arrest of malady, we should project a short video of a little boy getting arrested.
maybe he's 4 years old, dressed like a skateboarder for emphasis.

delia; or we could read the lesbian scene?

spanky: should we translate?

delia: molto bene /
amiche lesbiche di brooklyn /
caio bella

mason: very well. our lesbian friends from brooklyn will be with us tonight. good bye ,love.
can i see the lesbiche di brooklyn's tit-o's???

delia;
non lo so/
non lo so/
ma
fase si!

mason: no way, no way will they say yes

spanky; italian is sexy,
no need to translate

mason: i will imagine....

delia;
va bene /
questo e il migliore

modo in cui /
fare cose a presto un bacio
ehhhh????

mason; let's make this a dance. i will read the lines, you dance
ok??

delia;
yikes, iwas joking.

mi dispiace /
las prossima volta forse.

spanky: so it really didn't get off the ground....
_________________________

delia: there was a young traveler from mexico. he found a guitar, learned to play one song. he tries to earn food money, or something.

spanky: this mexican guy, he came onto the subway car. i know he could only play one song because i used to do that , too, when i was younger and traveling, hungry.
i was new to a city, i
think it was munich,out of money.
i bought a guitar.

mason; how did you buy it? with out money??

spanky:
ok...yeAH......
so i learned one song, "universal soldier" i think...

delia: the mexican played his one song. not really a singer's voice, but he tried. he plucked a few strings. he wasn't bad at all...just not a practiced musician...
i knew..that he knew...only one song..... because after that one song he waited.
when the car pulled
up to its stop, he moved to the next car,,,as i walked away i saw him start the same routine, the same song, over again.

mason: BEAUTIFUL.
DELIA: REAL LIFE
SPANKY: PROUD, YET STUPID, TO BE WORKING FOR HIMSELF.

mason; i'm sure you'd all like to hear more of this story, and others, like my story of how i've been working 20 hours a week at a starbucks ...or a whole foods....so my family can get health insurance.
but that's not my story...but it's one reason i live here in new york city

spanky: and what about malady/ the boy??

delai: well, i called 311 to find out more about what had happened /

311 said to look it up online, at nyc.gov......