give me a new shirt, i'll get it dirty

give me a new shirt, i'll get it dirty.

for the first time in 8 years, i bought a new jacket.
mid december cold.
my old black thick winter jacket, yes that should be a brand:
my old black thick winter jacket.com

the zipper had broken.

mid december cold.
walking around, clutching this jacket....feeling the cold...

so i bought a new jacket.
patagonia, fancy, not a jacket but a "down sweater.'

my wife ,peers, workers all commented on it. it did create envy in a few of them.

uh oh, big red flag. don't buy clothes that breed envy...

i did look good. handsome in a sporty, 40 ish dad kind of way.

today, 3 days later,i got my first rip.
i tore the sleeve in the kitchen......

everytime i get a new shirt, or put on a clean one, it always gets dirty.
whether it's a splash of coffee...tomato sauce stain...pick up a box and carry mark....christmas tree pine tar smear...
it happens to me.

i dont' fight it either.

i also usually don't mind. my clothes are just clothes. until i buy something new...


i understand the metrosexual mindset. if you're always buying and wearing new, clean clothes, you're probably more than a wee bit clothes aware. so you can't always let loose, might hesitate before opening the door for a lady , you might not feel 100% about pounding a few beers and making out with a bar chick.....

yes new clothes can change a person.

no matter what, give me a new shirt, i'll get it dirty.
i've accepted that my station in life depends on me getting my shirt dirty.....

chefs seeking happy endings

chefs have come a long way.

in the old days,women would walk into my kitchen, say provocative lines like: "i like to f&*k chefs the way some girls like to f*&k drummers...."

you would think it would be easy for a chef. they meet lots of women, they have secret rooms, like the walkin refrigerator, the store room, the liquor room.....

maybe things have changed a bit in the restaurant world. maybe there isn't room any more for young anthony bourdain's to find themselves in the kitchen.

it's definitely more competitive.

how did it come to this?

my chef friend asked me if i knew where to get a good happy ending.
we were talking about spa's. there's a spa on second avenue, called spa belles, but it's not really a spa, it's a nail salon....some of the staff had pitched in to get me a "full spa" treatment for my birthday, my wife ended up using it. i think the kitchen guys chipped in because when they heard "spa' they thought "happy endings".
where have these boys been? at spa belles, a spa treatment is a list of typical ladies favoprites - pedicure, manicure, facial, foot wash and rub, neck massage...that's about it.

i told him he should try one of the neighbouring chinese tui-na (?) massage storefronts. what has made them so popular, anyways,that they are ubiquitous - there is one on every block in manhattan. have you ever gone for a happy ending? i asked the chef?
well, no, you don't go in and ask for a happy ending. you go in for a full 1 hour massage.....then you don't need to ask, they just do it.....